The Philosophical Mother

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The Philosophical Mother (TPM) is an online archive of over 300 essays on motherhood that were written between September 2002 and December 2005.

Are You A Philosophical Mother?

You Know You're a Philosophical Mother if . . .

You realize that you're learning more now as a mother than you ever learned in high school and college combined.

You suddenly understand why Mommie Dearest had a hissy fit over wire hangers!

On some days, you are so inspired by the creativity of child-rearing, that you momentarily forget that your children primarily see you as a housekeeper, chef, and chauffeur.

You are in therapy; have been in therapy; talk about going to therapy; or at least understand why some moms desperately need therapy.

You accept that in every learning process there has to be room for error.

You are still awe-struck that you have become your child's greatest role model, mentor, and teacher.

You accept the fact that you are not a perfect, superhuman, Super-Mom, and that you just can't do it all, all the time.

You believe that your own "mistakes" will make you a stronger mother, and not cause your children permanent damage.

You believe that your child, like you, is a wonderful and complex work-in-progress. And you refuse to strap your child with unrealistic expectations of perfectionism.

You've read every parenting book ever written and even toyed with writing your own.

You pledge not to judge another mother's parenting skills ever....especially when her child is having a horrible temper tantrum in a crowded mall. Repeat your mantra --There but for the grace of God, go I.

You refuse to take sides in the Ultimate Mommy Rumble -- the WAHM's against the SAHM's against the Working Moms. Repeat your chant -- Can't we all just get along!

You believe that motherhood and feminism can and should co-exist.

You can't understand why everybody told you that you could "have it all" when the truth is "that something always has to give."

You can't believe that nobody told you how difficult it all would be.

You actually get tired of hearing your own voice, especially when you are speaking in the official "mom tone" and barking some disciplinary command for the one millionth time in one hour.

You love being a mom; but sometimes you hate having to be THE MOM.

TPM Columnists

Lizbeth Finn-Arnold
Travel With Lizbeth

Regina Walker
Maternal Journal

Elizabeth Katkics Thompson
This Full House

Gerry Di Gesu
On the Bright Side

Elizabeth Ross
Sleeping Single

Joanne Detore-Nakamura, Ph.D
Special Delivery

Jim Turner
Genuine Moments

Stacey Greenberg
Stomping Ground

Susan Krushenick
A Womb With A View

TPM Links

BLOGS:

WEBSITES:

BRAIN, CHILD
The Magazine for Thinking Mothers
HIP MAMA
Better than a double prozac latte
LITERARY MAMA
A Literary Magazine for the Maternally Inclined
MOMMY TOO! MAGAZINE
Celebrating Women of Color
MOTHERS.org
Mothers Ought To Have Equal Rights
SANITY CENTRAL
A Laughter Time Out From Parenting!
THE IMPERFECT PARENT
Release Your Inner Screwup
THE MOTHERS MOVEMENT
Resources for mothers and others who think about change
WELCOME HOME MAGAZINE
Published by Family and Home Network

TPM Vault

Lizbeth Finn-Arnold

TRAVEL WITH LIZBETH:

Moving Forward, Looking Back (Nov/Dec 2005),
Band of Mothers (Nov/Dec 2005)
Wanting A Girl (October 2005)
Craving Slow News Days (September 2005)
Closing Time (July 2005)
No Mom Is An Island (May 2005)
Changing the World (April 2005)
Paradise Lost (March 2005)
Adopting Elvis (February 2005)
Year-End Review (January 2005)
Finding the Perfect Present (December 2004)
The Calm Before the Holiday Storm (November 2004)
Grave Matters (October 2004)
Shades of Gray (September 2004)
Surveying the Landscape of Motherhood (August 2004)
Feeling hot, Hot, HOT (July 2004)
The Best of Times (June 2004)
The Yin and Yang of Motherhood (April 2004)
Embarrassing Moments (March 2004)
Lovely Letters (February 2004)
The Learned Mother (January 2004)
Finding the Perfect Present (December 2003)
Fear of Falling (November 2003)
Bodily Harm (October 2003)
Sex, God, & Body Parts (October 2003)
A Day Like Any Other (September 2003)
Launching Olivia (September 2003)
Reflections (August 2003)
Miss Independent (July 2003)
My Father (June 2003)
Welcome to the Mommy Jungle (May 2003)
A Mother's Daze (May 2003)
Stranger in a Very Strange Land (April 2003)
Kicking and Screaming (April 2003)
The Boobie Tube (March 2003)
March and Madness (March 2003)
Finding True Romance (February 2003)
Love 2003 (February 2003)
Separating the Sexy Men From the Sexy Boys (January 2003)
Closet Monsters (January 2003),
Cleaning Out My Closets (January 2003)
Stressing Traditions (December 2002)
'Tis the Season to Feel Tired (December 2002)

Regina Walker

MATERNAL JOURNAL:

Beginning Again (Nov/Dec 2005)
Resurrection (Nov/Dec 2005)
Changing the Script (October 2005)
Gratitude (September 2005)
Spring Fair (July 2005)
Fitting In (June 2005)
What Are You Afraid Of?(May 2005)
My Mother & Me (April 2005)
Sam (March 2005)
Pause (February 2005)
Resurrection (January 2005)
Breaking Bread (December 2004)
Sally Said (November 2004)
Today (October 2004)
a short story of an afternoon (September 2004)
Letters to My Sons (August 2004)
Taking Stock (July 2004)
Having Another? (June 2004)
On Turning 40 (May 2004)
Can You Understand Him? (April 2004)
Mama in Midlife Crisis (March 2004)
In Sickness and in Health (February 2004)
Resolutions (January 2004)
The Gift of Sam (December 2003)
Another Country (November 2003)
Someone Else's Body (October 2003)
Mama of a Gifted Child (September 2003)
Regarding Zachary (August 2003)
An Imaginary World (July 2003)
Knowing Dad (June 2003)
Loss (May 2003)
Brooding (April 2003)
Different Theories (March 2003)
Fear and Loathing in Gymboree (March 2003)

Elizabeth Katkics Thompson

THIS FULL HOUSE:

It's Like Angry Sex...Only, Tastes Better (Nov/Dec 2005)
Coming of Age and Reasonable Doubt (September 2005)
Reservation for Six (July 2005)
Falling In and Out of Love With Your Father (June 2005)
I Am The Alpha Mom . . . (May 2005)
Growing Old With Nagy Mama (April 2005)
Talk Dirty to Me! (March 2005)
My Brother's Wife (February 2005)
The Year I Fed My Husband Chicken (January 2005)
A Christmas Without Uncle Bud (December 2004)
'Tis the Season to be S.A.D. (November 2004)
My Two Breast Friends (October 2004)
What to Expect When You're Not Expecting Anymore (September 2004)
Warning: Motherhood May be Dangerous to Your Health (August 2004)
Bound by Passion (July 2004)
Lost in Transition (June 2004)
Don't Hate Me Because I'm Maternal (May 2004)
The Ring Around Motherhood (April 2004)
Minor Distractions & Misdemeanors (March 2004)
Annette, Meg, and Me (February 2004)
Best of Both Worlds (January 2004)
Gift-Worthy (December 2003)
Yes, They're All Mine (November 2003)

Gerry Di Gesu

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE:

Mighty Duck (October 2005)
Once Upon A Summer (September 2005)
Beach Day (July 2005)
The Fig Tree (June 2005)
Motorcycle Momma (May 2005)
The Someday Dress (April 2005)
It's Okay to Say 'No' (March 2005)
Silence (February 2005)
Christmas Card Wisdom (January 2005),
On the Bright Side (December 2004)
Thanksgiving (November 2004)
Renewal (October 2004)
Growing Season (September 2004)
The Last Day (August 2004),
Insecurities (July 2004)
Ode to My Family (June 2004)
We Did Our Best (May 2004)
Decision (April 2004)
Pie in the Sky (March 2004)
Sweet Reunion (February 2004)
Most of the Time (January 2004)
Christmas Confusion (December 2003)
Down Time With Nancy (November 2003)
Just Like Your Mother (October 2003)
Terror (September 2003)
Back-to-School Night (September 2003)
The Last Day (August 2003)
Buddies (July 2003)

Elizabeth Ross

SLEEPING SINGLE:

New Year's Eve (January 2005)
Let Hearts Be Light (December 2004)
Cold Harvest (November 2004)
I Read [Bleep] as a Child. Am I Bad? (October 2004)
It Could Be Worse (September 2004)
Surveyville (August 2004)
Activist Heart: Anne Feeney (July 2004)
Multi-Level Mothering (June 2004)
Into the Mystic (May 2004)
Popularity vs. Self-Assurance (April 2004)
'To Assume" -- The Eighth Deadly Sin (March 2004)
Finding the Center of the Circle (February 2004),
New Year's Revolutions (January 2004)
Unconventional Family Holiday (December 2003),
Motherhood As A Curse (November 2003),
Holding On (August 2003)

Joanne Detore-Nakamura, Ph.D

SPECIAL DELIVERY:

Mother Knows Best or Why Tom Cruise Should Stay Off Sofas (July 2005)
Snakes and Snails, and All That Jazz (June 2005)
My Life Stood Still -- Like a Load of Laundry (March 2005)
Shedding My Extra Hyde (January 2005)
Beauty of the Hours (August 2004)
My Mother, Myself (May 2004)
My So-Called Boring Life (April 2004)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Aliens Among Us, And Extraterrestrial Superheroes (February 2004)
Girl Power (January 2004)
Diving Deep and Resurfacing (November 2003)
Dissertation Distress: A Room of One's Own With A Crib and a Computer (March 2003)

Jim Turner

GENUINE MOMENTS:

Knee High by July (July 2005)
The Graduate (June 2005)
It's A Small World After All (April 2005)
For Love (February 2005)
Missing Silent Night (December 2004)
Always a Child (November 2004)
Just Another Ribbon (October 2004)
Singing the Blues (September 2004)
The Democracy in Naming a Legacy (August 2004)
My First Time (June 2004)

Stacey Greenberg

STOMPING GROUND:

In Search of a Second Opinion (Nov/Dec 2005)
Nighttime Parenting (October 2005)
Back to School (September 2005)
Building Community, One Mama at a Time (July 2005)
Mothers and Daughters (May 2005)
Mairamou (April 2005)
Hangin' with the Dads (March 2005)
Sex Toys and Threesomes (February 2005)
Kindling (January 2005)
Taking the Purple Cow to Mothersville (July 2004)
My Son, The Little Jew with the Foreskin (April 2004)
Machinery I Have Loved (October 2003)
Confessions of a Cloth Diaper Drop-Out (April 2003)

Susan Krushenick

A WOMB WITH A VIEW:

Momma's Little Surprise (May 2004)
Tales from 'TV Turn-off Week' (April 2004),
Button Day (March 2004)
50 Lessons of Motherhood (January 2004)
Birthing a New Tradition (December 2003)
Falling Down (November 2003)
Dear Mother Nature (October 2003)
What I Did Over Summer Vacation (September 2003)
What Would Happen If...? (August 2003)
Operation Evacuation (July 2003)
Are You a Candidate for Mother-of-the-Year? (May 2003)

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